This Really Stupid John

This really stupid john has been annoying me all week. I finally got rid of him today. Here's how that went -

He smoozed me into going out with him on Friday. I even cancelled a dinner invitation I had gotten from a friend at church. I was really not interested in him from the start. He had an extremely pushy personality. I figured that the only way to get rid of him was to go out with him. There are just some people who refuse to take "NO!" for an answer. He would still be annoying me right now if I hadn't gone out with him. Sometimes a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do.

So, we went out and he just bored me. I guess that made him think that there was chemistry between us.

We went to an awesome wild cat refuge - www.bigcatcare.org That was the whole deal with this date. I got to check out a really wonderful new place. And now I know about it and I can share information about it with my friends.

That's what I did the next day. I was hanging out with my friend and his son and I thought this would be a cool place to take them. I even sent a text to the john to ask for directions. He sent a text back - 1st dirt road on the right, that's the best i can do

What a jerk! So I looked it up on the internet and we spent a nice afternoon there, taking pictures and donating to the cause.

Then I get a text on Sunday - We still gonna hang out tonight for awhile?

I said - No, thanks

The texts went back and forth for awhile. Like I said, this stupid john could not take "NO!" for an answer. I got rid of him by saying - Next Sunday, k?

The next day he sent me a request, asking me to shave my stuff and send him a picture my most private and sacred body part, completely exposed. Of course, I said - "NO!" Jeez, this dude's a stupid dildo!

Today, Thursday, I saw him over at the site where we met. I sent him an email - I'm so glad to see you here. It's good that you realize that we have nothing to offer each other. Good luck with seeking the girl of your dreams.

He sent me a text - Why do you keep blowing me off? You're so mean!

I sent one back - It's not mean for a woman to demand respect. This is why you keep ending up divorced. Your exes were just mean, right? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It took him awhile, but he came back with - You should be a little more specific next time. (I guess he was talking about my profile.)

So, I texted him back - I sent you a link to my site. How much more specific can I be?

And the grand finale! He sends his last text to me - Leave me alone! Lose my number.

Of course, I had to get in the last word. I said - Ditto

Hallelujah! and Praise the Lord! Salvation is finally mine.