How To Identify A John

American men are generally known, around the world, as being the scum of the earth. As an American woman I have had countless experiences that have proven this to be true, especially with online dating.

For those who have just entered the online dating world, it is extremely easy to end up in a situation that could lead to losing custody of your children - when you weren't even doing anything wrong! You just accepted a date with the wrong person.

I have come up with the following tips to help the ladies avoid the johns, otherwise known as jerks.

1. From the first email, they seem too good to be true. A first email should read - Hi! How are you? not - I'm going to give you the stars and the moon and a car and blah, blah, blah.....

Take time to get to know each other. ***Exchange emails for a least two weeks.*** Taking time to exchange emails GUARANTEES that this is not a john (or the police!).

2. Mentioning sex before you meet in person OR even on the first date. This is obviously someone who wants sex. Doesn't everyone? But to talk about your most intimate desires with a stranger proves that you are desperate and probably very willing to pay for this desire. Gross!

3. The guy insists that the lady comes to him. Who does he think you are, a callgirl? (yes) The gentleman always comes to the lady. It is definitely a bad idea to have a stranger come to your home, so pick the nicest restaurant in ~your~ hometown and meet him there. If he is not willing to take you to the nicest place to town to make a good first impression, don't waste your time with him.

4. Don't invite him back to your place or go anywhere alone with him. You just met. There will be plenty of time for that once the relationship develops. Any pressure for some alone time on a first date makes one thing clear - JOHN!

Dating is all about romance. What is more romantic than a first kiss? Why is it so romantic? Because of the anticipation factor - You have thought about it for days, weeks, months, years.....Don't blow your big moment by kissing on the first date.

A first date kiss is not always a bad thing. Lots of beginnings are like that, so don't blow this advice off just because you have had good experiences with first date kisses.

In my experience, when a man I just met moves in that quickly I knew that it was going to be over before it started. And they ALWAYS shove their tongue down your throat and grope at you. Gross, again!

Another warning to heed - No alcohol on the first date.

Follow this advice and you will avoid 99% of the johns out there. Best of luck to all in their online dating adventures. I hope everyone is blessed with a happy connection!