There Ain't Nothing That Money Can't Buy

Here's how to snag a sugar daddy in seven days - Buy one!

I signed up for this thing called a "webinar" the other day, but after I downloaded the software I could not get access to it. It was obviously a scam, but it turned out to be a good one. A few hours later I got a text telling me that I had won a $200 gift card. It gave me an 800 number to call to claim my prize.

I called the number. Apparently, because I was one of the first 20 callers from the state of Texas, I actually ended up winning over $1400 in gift cards. I also won access to claim my "lost money".

I really don't know much about the "lost money" that is owed to me, but I am assuming that it is going to come to about a billion dollars. I will donate most of it to charity and just keep about a million for myself.

Then, I am going to contact this one super hottie sugar daddy from Baltimore. I don't know if he is actually a real sugar daddy, but I do know that his information has been verified by the site we are hanging out on.

That is who I am turning all my attention to, this one gentleman. The rest are just lame-o liars. There is a site, the one where you post your (budget/allowance) price. Posting your price gives the other members an idea about what your true intentions are.

The site also gives the sugar daddies the option of having their information verified, for the small fee of $1000. Anyone who is not willing to pay this fee is obviously not willing to be a real sugar daddy.

There are less than 10 verified sugar daddies on this site. So, I checked them all out and the Baltimore man is the one for me.

Now I just have to wait for my lost money to arrive. Then I can contact Mr. Baltimore and offer him a million dollars for the priveledge of being his sugar baby. Hopefully, he'll say, "That sounds superb, my lovely lady. May I now take you to Karmic Connection and buy you some soy candles?"