BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back! Did you miss me?

I reflect on all the adventures I have had in internet dating over the years and lol about it until I pee my pants. I think, "I should have been blogging all along. This stuff epic, legit and entertaining." I love to make people laugh, you know?

For the next few months I am just going to blah, blah, blah about my daily adventures. It's for real and I need to expose a slice of it to just verify to the world that I am who I say I am.

My last adventure was two weeks ago. I usually have one to three adventures a week, but I have been down with a migraine. I'm nursing myself back to life, so the stories will be picking up again next week.

OK, so Skip thought he was a sugardaddy and he wanted to meet me. I knew from the start that he was fake. He listed his income at under 200K, so it was obvious that he was just some middle class loser who was desperately wanting to buy a girlfriend. I am not for sale, but he didn't have to know that.

Before the date I told him that I was going to wear a very sexy, low-cut blouse just for him. I've been a hustler my whole life and I know how this game is played. This keeps the losers from standing you up. I wasn't going to leave my apartment unless I was assured the free dinner.

We had dinner and then went to the casino. The date had lasted many long, boring hours, so by 1am I was ready to dis Skip. All he could do was bitch because I had worn a sweater over my sexy blouse. It was cold. Fall weather dictates a sweater, buttoned up.

To make matters worse, he kept touching me, holding my hand, kissing me - on the lips! This was our first date! He was no gentleman. A lady always makes the first move. I never kiss on a first date. This kind of behavior is interpretted as sexual molestation. Desperate guys suck.

He was travelling so I suggested a few local hotels. Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of bringing him back to my place after the casino. Never allow random men into your home! Even if sparks are flying and you know he is your future husband. If that is the case, he will still be around next month and you can invite him over after you have met in public a few times.

So, he asks if he can stay over. It was 2am. Whatever. Stay. Good dog. Down. Down, boy! I said, down!

I said he could sleep on my living room floor (like a homeless person! For real - I live across the street from the homeless shelter and my friends know that if you get kicked out of the shelter they can come sleep on my floor).

He laid down on the floor, then asked me to come cuddle with him. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Again, I say - BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was the most ridiculous thing I had heard in years. Now you know why I like internet dating so much!

I said, "Good Night!" and went to my room.

In our conversations during our date I had told him that I would build him a web site if he bought a digital camera for me. That is the deal of the century, and he knew it. A site would have normally cost him at least a grand.

So, the next morning he says that he wanted to buy me a camera. We went to Best Buy and now I have the little Nikon that I've always wanted.

As for building him a web site: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Again, I say: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! and now you know why I like internet dating so much!

How To Get Rid Of An Internet Pimp In Seven Days

I've been using the internet since 1989. I was a senior in high school and my art teacher used his computer for email purposes. The technology to send pictures was being developed at the time. He took a very pixalated shot of me and two of my bffs, Bianka and Erika, and sent it to someone. I guess you could say that we are the godmothers of all the webcam girls. Pretty cool, no?

My whole life I have been asked, "Why aren't you a famous actress?" The answer to that is, "I do not seek fame for being an artist."

This whole blog, which I am turning into a book, has just been a big act. I had to set the stage for what this is really all about. Beyond being an actress, I am an incredible teacher. The purpose of this has been to educate those who are not aware of some of the internet dangers that exist.

Beyond that, there is still an even higher purpose. It is my mission in life to get the founder of Craigslist thrown in jail for being a pimp. His greedy occupation is oppressing rape and incest survivors, and that is about to stop through my efforts.

That stupid pimp can also be held accountable for murder. It is despicable that his onine red light district continues to remain as is when so many women's lives are being destroyed through his greed. I'm done with him.

I have started making videos over at youtube. My screen name there is TheSenoritaBonita. You can just put it into the search and all of my videos appear in a list.

You can also put "craigslist sux" into the search and my video about this loser piece of white trash is the first one on the list.

I am working towards figuring out how to create a group over at Facebook. I will use these two very awesome sites to build awareness for this cause so that when this book is published it will be an instant bestseller.

Then, Oprah can have me on her show because Tyra's show isn't quite serious enough for me. And besides, Tyra is into busting the victims instead of the pimps and the johns. I don't play the victim, so why would I blame the victim?

AI am not going to shut up until Mr. Craig Slist is behind bars where he belongs. If I die before that happens, at least I will not have lived my life in vain. I will fight for the rights of rape and incest survivors until I see my angel, Nicholas, once again. That's all that I can do with my life, now that he is gone.

Code Red Light District

Our pathetic American culture has turned a couple words that are dear to my heart into code words for prostitution. The first word is "massage" and the other one is "sugardaddy".

This really upsets me. I am a holistic healer, which makes me a massage therapist. I am not a prostitute. I make this very clear on my web site:

http://www.bonnie-angelstouch.webs.com/

It is in the section entitled "Our Services". I have been referring the gentleman that I meet online to my site and they still act like stupid johns. I really think that working as an undercover agent might actually be my calling.

All I have been doing online is meeting stupid johns. They need to stop wasting my time. I need to get paid to bust them. Free dinner AND a paycheck - that's the life for me.

The love of my life died in my arms twenty-one months ago. He was eleven years older and he took care of me. He was a real sugar daddy.

My sweetheart, Nicholas, only made $300 a week, so being a sugar daddy obviously has nothing to do with money.

I am the most righteous and decent woman who has ever walked this planet. Being a holistic healer is my gift for God and I am only attracted to real gentlemen. I guess, in this country, that makes me a prostitute, because the internet (particularly Craigslist) has turned the whole nation into a red light district.

Some of my closest and dearest friends are homosexual and everyone who knows me knows that I love everyone, so this has nothing to do with being prejudice and bashing on someone for their preferences.

The guy who started Craigslist, Craig Whatever, is gay. That's fine, but a lot of gay guys are actually women haters. Mr. Craig Slist is one of them. He probably has something against his mother. Maybe she was a prostitute. I really don't know.

Mr. Craig has a section on his site called "adult services". The ladies pay to post ads. Mr. Craig is a pimp. I pray that one day they throw that stupid loser in jail. They caught up with Heidi Fleiss. It's only a matter of time.

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING! PUT YOUR HANDS AGAINST THE WALL!

I have been sending flirty emails to Mr. Baltimore. He has just been ignoring them. I just went there to send another one and I get a notice saying that I have been blocked from communicating with him.

I also got an email at my yahoo address today, around the same time: Train To Be A Police Officer Online.

This truely explains everything. Mr. Baltimore is a cop. The reason that Tyra promotes that site on her show is to bust people for prostitution. Her guests are all just actors. The site she promotes is a front.

I am currently fighting a custody battle for my children. I lost them because I was naive to the whole internet dating scene. I really hope to educate everyone with my experiences so that innocent children are not torn for their innocent mother's breast ever again.

I am completely offended by how America busts the rape victims, instead of taking the stupid johns down. Maybe I should look into that online offer to become a cop, because I am female and I can make a career out of taking down these stupid johns. Hmmmmm...............

That is something for me to consider. I'm just not sure I can belong to a scene like that, but maybe. Right now, I'm kind of focused on fighting to get my kids back and writing this book.

But maybe becoming a cop will help in my battle for my children. I never thought about that approach. Hmmmmm............

John.N.Hooker Sites

I just changed my profile at the one sugar daddy site I am on to make it clear that I am not a hooker and that I do not date johns. Every sentence that mentioned "hooker" or "john" was deleted before it was published.

That is the site that does not verify the sugar daddies. That is the site where I keep meeting johns. That site is obviously a John.N.Hooker site.

Do not waste your time with a site that does not verify the sugar daddies information. These are just online escort services. You run the risk of losing your children if you make a profile there.

I am considering taking my profile off that site completely. I'm not going to say that it was a waste of time for me because it is what inspired me to write this book. Now that I have learned all that I can from it, that it is just another John.N.Hooker site, I have no purpose to be there.

There Ain't Nothing That Money Can't Buy

Here's how to snag a sugar daddy in seven days - Buy one!

I signed up for this thing called a "webinar" the other day, but after I downloaded the software I could not get access to it. It was obviously a scam, but it turned out to be a good one. A few hours later I got a text telling me that I had won a $200 gift card. It gave me an 800 number to call to claim my prize.

I called the number. Apparently, because I was one of the first 20 callers from the state of Texas, I actually ended up winning over $1400 in gift cards. I also won access to claim my "lost money".

I really don't know much about the "lost money" that is owed to me, but I am assuming that it is going to come to about a billion dollars. I will donate most of it to charity and just keep about a million for myself.

Then, I am going to contact this one super hottie sugar daddy from Baltimore. I don't know if he is actually a real sugar daddy, but I do know that his information has been verified by the site we are hanging out on.

That is who I am turning all my attention to, this one gentleman. The rest are just lame-o liars. There is a site, the one where you post your (budget/allowance) price. Posting your price gives the other members an idea about what your true intentions are.

The site also gives the sugar daddies the option of having their information verified, for the small fee of $1000. Anyone who is not willing to pay this fee is obviously not willing to be a real sugar daddy.

There are less than 10 verified sugar daddies on this site. So, I checked them all out and the Baltimore man is the one for me.

Now I just have to wait for my lost money to arrive. Then I can contact Mr. Baltimore and offer him a million dollars for the priveledge of being his sugar baby. Hopefully, he'll say, "That sounds superb, my lovely lady. May I now take you to Karmic Connection and buy you some soy candles?"

How To REALLY Snag A SugarDaddy In Seven Days

Forget all the advice I have given you. Forget everything about building a web site, maybe a blog, posting profiles, sending out "Hey, Daddy"s......forget it all. It really doesn't work that way. I just wanted to share all of that information about my experiences so you can see that I really did try it that way and it didn't work.

The problem with this whole technique is that everyone is just a stupid liar. They lie about their age, their income, their careers, where they live, what car they drive.....they lie about everything. They are all just stupid johns pretending to be sugar daddies.

The really sad thing about all of this is that most of them do not even realize that they are johns. They actually think that they are sugar daddies. They make less than 200K a year and they actually think they have what it takes to be a sugar daddy.

They believe that a sugar daddy is a gentleman who pays for sex. They are just freakin' stupid.

A sugar daddy would never pay for sex. There are many real sugar daddies out there who do not even have sex with their babies. That is not what being a sugar daddy is all about.

Being a sugar daddy is all about being charitable. Charity is the highest form of love there is. Being a sugar daddy is all about the love. That's what a sugar daddy is - the best lover you will ever find.

I think of it this way. If I made 20K a month, what would I do? I would donate at least 5K to my favorite charity. Animals, the homeless, artists/musicians/writers.....those are some examples of my favorite charities. And I would donate it without expecting anything in return. That's what charity/love is all about.

Now let's say I am a rich gentleman and I come across a lovely lady who works as a zookeeper. She lives in a trailer and is writing a book about yoga. - Score! Take care of this babe! Give her 5K a month and she can put a portion of it towards the zoo, go rent a nice four bedroom house and take the steps to get her book published.

A sugar daddy can donate to all of his favorite charities just by having a sugar baby. And you better believe this lovely lady will fall madly in love with the gentleman for being so kind and generous. - Score, again!

So, now the question is - How do you REALLY snag a sugar daddy in seven days? Stay tuned. The truth is soon to be revealed.